How To Date An Introvert Woman (When You’re Not One)

How To Date An Introvert Woman (When You’re Not One)

So you love people and people love you back. You shine in every social situation armed with nothing but your sharp wit, winning personality, and charm.

As luck would have it, you have fallen in love with (gasp!) and introvert. While the prospect of painting the town red with her by your side excites you, her idea of a perfect date includes staying in to watch movies on Netflix and ordering pizza for dinner.

But despite all the evidence suggesting she is your polar opposite, you still dig her. You want to be with her even if you secretly find it weird that she goes on solo trips to the beach, and that she can enjoy dinner out by herself so long as she has a good book to keep her company.

This introvert-extrovert match-up is manageable. But over the holidays, when invites to parties and gatherings abound, it becomes a delicate situation that requires careful maneuvering, good foresight, and at times even badassery on the part of the extrovert boyfriend.

  1. Remember: She’s an introvert, not a recluse.

It’s too simplistic to automatically categorize her as an introvert and assume she fits a certain mold. Or worse, think that being an introvert is the same as being anti-social. Chances are, she still loves the company of friends and can even be the life of the party when she feels like it. But the events she most likely enjoys are those that provide an opportunity to connect with other people on a deeper level beyond the desultory small talk.

  1. Discover new interests together.

If you both wanted your relationship to work, do your best to discover things that you could do together as a couple. Because you have found your common ground, it got much easier for the two of you to enjoy your interests separately. As the Android ad campaign goes, “Be together, not the same.”

  1. Let her know of social events in advance.

Introverts need to allot time for quiet and solitude in between socializing. Going to parties or big get-togethers are rarely spur-of-the-moment occasions; rather, they are carefully planned events scheduled ahead of time. When you want her to attend a party with you, give her several days to prepare herself for it. That probably sounds ridiculous to you, but an introvert sometimes needs to be in the right frame of mind to mingle.

  1. Figure out her love language.

Introverts tend to be sensitive and self-aware. As a result, they spend a lot of time thinking of their emotional needs in a relationship. If you want to please her, be more perceptive of the way she expresses her love for you. It’s likely that’s also how she understands love from another person. If, for example, words of affirmation are what she uses to feel close to you, then do your best to show your affection in the same way.

  1. Love her, but don’t lose yourself.

Healthy relationships always involve balance and reciprocity. Find a way to meet her halfway while still being true to your nature as an extrovert. If she’s a keeper, she won’t want you to change your personality for the sake of her convenience.


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